This question springs from a conversation I had with my brother and his girlfriend about books. I like romantic stories, while they both are seemingly not big fans of "fluff". So I got to wondering why I like fluff so much, and tonight I'm going to attempt to hash it out.
I know I'm not alone in my enjoyment of romance. This is evident in the huge quantity of romance novels and movies and such. A lot of girls buy into it!
Maybe it's all the disney movies I watched growing up,the princes in danger, the prince saves her, they dance, get married, and live happily ever after! Maybe we just like the thought of "happily ever after" and the romance is simply how we think you get there.
I must admit, if your looking with a stone cold eye from the outside, it seems kind of silly: dancing, snuggling, taking moonlit walks, watching the sun go down, getting all dressed up and going out, getting flowers, being pursued....and it makes me think maybe romance is just the selfish side of us. Of me....
I don't know.
OR....maybe God designed us that way so we would want to get married....or maybe He made us that way just so we can be different.....
Hmmmm......all I know is I am as sad and sappy as the next girl in line, and I like it that way!
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2 comments:
I like these thoughts and ramblings, Lindsey. :)
I was just thinking, too, and I think romance IS a desire God put into our hearts---especially girls' hearts. I think our desire for romance stems from our desire for God...
We are made to love God and BE loved by God, right? Think about all of your favorite romance novels or movies and WHY you love them so much---think about the plot in each one, or your favorite scenes. I wonder if the guy/girl relationships in any of them can somehow represent the relationship between us and God? We're pursued by God; He loves us completely and unconditionally; He takes care of us; He shows His love to us in many, many wonderful ways...
If God IS love, is the "feminine" desire for love in our lives really a deep down desire for God? And since marriage is supposed to be a physical representation of the relationship between us and God (or is it the relationship between the three parts of the Trinity? I don't remember), then is our womanly desire and urgency (for some of us) to be married, actually---in a deeper form---a desire for God?
Now you've got ME thinking. Heh.
I think our earthly desire for romance stems from what Ted Dekker calls "the divine romance"--a wooing of us by our Father. Basically what Hannah wrote :)
There is also a physical factor though. Marriage satisfies physical needs. God put those needs in us for specific reasons. He meant for sex to be shared between a husband and wife, and romance is just one avenue to fan the flames, if you will.
I think "romance" in general has been idealized to the point of annoyance. As females, we're supposed to fall for the handsome prince charming on a white stallion that will...what? Take us away to wash dishes and clean house? The "happily ever after" is a nice way to end a story, but in real life, it's something that you have to diligently pursue every day of your married life. And that...that can get tough! When your babies are crying, the dinner is burning on the stove, and you tripped over your husband's shoes after you've begged and pleaded with him a thousand times to put on the shoe rack instead of right next to the sofa. (lol, no that is not why Ty decided to go shoeless :) this is just an example) The movie "Yours, Mine, and Ours" has a part in it that really drives this point home: "It's giving life that counts. Until you're ready for it, all the rest is just a big fraud. All the crazy haircuts in the world won't keep it turning. Life isn't a love in, it's the dishes and the orthodontist and the shoe repairman and... ground round instead of roast beef. And I'll tell you something else: it isn't going to a bed with a man that proves you're in love with him; it's getting up in the morning and facing the drab, miserable, wonderful everyday world with him that counts." Romance...fluff...helps keep us sane in every day life :) I'm not a huge fan of romantic stories in novels because I honestly think it can skew our views of what romance really is-a continual pursuing of each other even when wrinkles invade your cleavage, perky boobs sag, and a gut appears. Romance is more than just holding hands and enjoying that physical touch...it's mental, emotional and spiritual. You're sharing yourself with another person, letting them in on your secrets, your happiness, your pain. It's intense, and I just don't think books or movies portray it accurately.
Romance is what you make of it. It can be the sappy cards, the moonlit walks, etc. It can be a competitive game of basketball. It can be a trip to the grocery store alone! Romance is a desire that God has put in all hearts though, not just girl's.
Our views of romance change as the years go by as well. It was romantic of Tyler to give me a note, hold my hand, cuddle me for hours...now it's romantic when he does dishes...wait scratch that, it's a downright turn on! Sorry that was probably too much information, but as time goes by, priorities change, romance changes, and it's a fun, silly, wonderful adventure to see where your every day romance takes you :)
And I'll shut up now since I have probably written a book :D
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